Learning from new friends 'right of center'

I have just returned from a fabulous conference, Encountering The Other. I left the conference feeling expanded in mind and heart… through my engagement with ‘the other’ – For me, this was the first time I have had a chance to engage in such a deep dialogue with individuals whose political ideology puts them ‘right of center.’ Over this weekend, I was able to develop a relationship with several such leaders. We met with an intention and purpose to listen to one another, to truly come to understand each other’s meaning – not to try to change or convince one another. Here I was, engaging with the leader of the Tea Party movement, which had so outraged me… I felt my heart open and was awed by a current of love that seemed to spring up – I was surprised by this feeling. Perhaps it was a rechanneling of the energy released from feelings of anger, judgment, and fear I had been unconsciously storing. Through our conversations, I learned things I hadn’t known – such as why the right is so angry with Obama, the sources of their sense of betrayal (they like his ‘rhetoric’ but observe many behaviors that are not matching. For example, transparency vs. making back room deals, reining in the budget vs. now co-owing GM and Goldman Sachs, welcoming input from all sides vs. not responding to a request from Republicans to come to the White House to discuss their alternative health care bill). I realize I share their unease – but I have chosen to land on the side of trust and assuming Obama will ultimately come through. I discovered we share a concern and outrage over ‘corporate welfare.’ And we began to explore areas where we might be willing change – such as shifting our language, suspending judgments, and using a more civil tone in characterizing one another. We found our mutual similarities had been hidden by our different use of language – where I speak of ‘self organizing and trust the process’ they might say ‘free market forces.’ Where I say ‘follow the energy’ they might say ‘make optimal use of resources.’ I also appreciated the sobering impact of listening to my new friends’ concerns – rather than dismiss ‘them’ as fear mongering, I truly heard their analysis of the dangers of big government in developing a ‘political class’ that then has excessive power to wield. I feel a bit off balance with so much to reconsider and ponder. This experience was expanding, exhilarating and yet excruciating in the hard work of keeping heart and mind open. What a challenge and thrill to put my practice of Compassionate Listening (which I’ve taught for years) into practice. I am excited for more and committed more than ever to my work with the Transpartisan Alliance.


PS I am posting a short article I co-authored with Deanna Martin last year which shares some insights we gained about how to bridge this ideological divide